La Paz
Es muy difícil hablar de paz en una país que no lo tiene. El gobierno intentó hacer paz entre las Fuerzas Armadas Revolucionaria de Colombia, actores armados y paros armados en 1999, pero no la trabajó. Los actores armados son furiosos. Quemaron vehículos de transporte, bombardearon torres de comunicaciones y energía. Primero sabíamos el nombre de los muertos. Luego, los muertos convirtieron en cifras. Después, no supieron cuantos hubo. ¿Por qué este país no vive en paz el un con el otro? Después de un ataque, los ciudadanos vuelven a sus vidas regulares. Ellos se puede ser carpinteros, taxistas, etc,. Los niños juegan fútbol y los padres y madres están en una sola persona. Los ciudadanos viven en paz después de la guerra. Cuando el gobierno sugirió la paz, la gente no lo tomaron seriamente. No creen él porque él es que creó la guerra. Sí, la gente celebraron el Día Internacional de Paz, pero piensan si la plata existe, no habrá paz. En este mundo, una guerra siempre existirá, porque los funcionarios y los fuertes siempre quererá el poder. El mundo hoy es muy avaro.
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3 comments:
Student Writer:
Karina
Student Reviewer:
Brianna
Assignment:
Formal Writing II
Date:
10/10/07
The assignment is legible (written neatly or typed).
5
The central theme of the writing is clear.
5
The writing has a definite beginning, middle, and end.
4
The assignment is interesting to read.
4
There are enough details and examples to make the ideas understandable.
3
The sentences relate to each other.
3
The ideas are appropriate for the culture.
5
The sentence structures are overall correct and understandable.
3
The writer uses punctuation correctly.
5
The writer has checked spelling so that spelling is overall correct.
5
The writer uses verb tenses correctly.
4
The writer uses correct subject/verb agreements.
4
The writer uses gender agreements correctly.
4
What I really liked about this assignment:
I liked how you explained your views on peace clearly.
I have the following questions about your assignment:
Near the end you were talking about a man you didn't believe, but I could not figure out who this man was.
Some suggestions for next time:
Proofread and split your large paragraph into multiple, smaller paragraphs when necessary.
Name:
karina
Date:
10.16.07
Assignment:
formal writing #2
Before writing, I think of what I know about the topic. I make a list of ideas, words, and phrases I might use.
yes
I organize my thoughts and ideas so that I can focus on one central idea.
yes
I choose ideas and examples that are appropriate for this culture.
yes
I make sure the writing has a definite beginning, middle, and end.
yes
I try to make my writing interesting.
yes
I write a first draft and then I reread and revise.
no
I check to make sure that my writing makes sense.
yes
I make sure the sentences relate to each other.
yes
I use familiar language structures so I know I am writing correctly.
yes
If I do not know a word, I use a word or phrase I do know.
no
I make sure punctuation is correct according to the rules in this language.
yes
I check my spelling.
yes
I check my use of verb tenses (present, past, future, etc.).
no
I check my use of gender and agreements (masculine, feminine, neuter).
no
I ask someone who knows the language (classmate) to read my writing and give me feedback.
no
I make sure the final copy is legible (handwritten or typed).
yes
What I think I did very well on in this assignment:
i think that i did well at writing about the topic
What I think I need to focus/improve on next time:
i need to add more information from another source
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